John's (Australia) Testimony

If there is a stereotypical Mormon boy – it’s me! Raised in the Church, served a mission at 19, was an AP, went to BYU, taught at the MTC, diligent in all my callings…so why did this happen to me? From my earliest recollections, I have had strong feelings of same-sex attraction. I come from a good LDS family with two loving, Church-active parents. I can’t blame them, I can’t blame God, and I no longer blame myself. Possibly I will never know why this trial became my trial, but for now I am focusing my efforts on dealing with this trial and assisting others with this trial.

The greatest support I have ever received in regards to this trial has been from Evergreen International. Several years ago I was chatting to a friend here in Sydney, Australia, and he told me of a group he was working with. I was amazed that such a group existed – a group for LDS members dealing with same-sex attraction issues. I never accepted myself as a gay person and that lifestyle was never desirable. My greatest aspiration has always been that of every other good Mormon boy – to be married for eternity to a wonderful wife in a holy temple and to multiply and replenish the earth. I knew that in order to ever achieve such a goal, I would need nothing short of a miracle, or a “mighty change of heart.”

That became my first step in actively dealing with this problem. Evergreen introduced me to a whole library of support material that I never knew existed. I cannot say enough good about Evergreen’s Workbook. That tool, more than any other, has been the key to helping me discover the causative factors behind my attractions and desires. It has also shown me a systematic method for actively working or resolving certain personal issues. The other greatest part of the Evergreen network is that I know now that I am not alone. The life of a SSA struggler is very lonely, and I often seriously wondered if anyone else really understood, if there was anyone else out there like myself, and if anyone else really could help. I know that I am now one of many and the mutual-support offered through the Evergreen network is crucial, and at times, even life-saving.

I have come so far. I have such a long way to go. Thank you Evergreen for starting me on this journey, for carrying me along this path and for giving me an optimistic view of my future.

John, Australia