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Life is Difficult

By Jerry

"This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

This is the first paragraph of The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. He says in simple terms, what we least like to hear. But hear it we must if we are to find any growth in our life. It is the problems of life that make it difficult; it is the solving of problems that make us grow. If we accept that truth and go about solving our problems, even though life may still be difficult, it can be filled with meaning, joy, and peace.

For every problem that is to be solved there must first be a decision to solve it. We are free to choose not to make decisions but in doing so we choose to remain in our problems. Cinderella, in the play Into the Woods, explains that to make no decision is still a decision. She says, "Then from out of the blue, without any guide, you know what your decision is, which is not to decide."

When we finally decide to commit ourselves to "change" we will see some of our problems begin to be solved. Many disciplines will need to be employed in the solution, but until a decision is made the problems remain. This process of decision making and problem resolution is illustrated in the following personal experience article:

A Personal Commitment

I've been involved in recovery for about three years. I was excited to find out about Moberly, Konrad and the sports program. I knew that I had found the answers and that everything was going to fall into place in a short amount of time. But then, I was surprised at the frustration and lack of resolution that I was noticing.

After a lot of wasted energy, I realized that I wasn't personally committed to recovery. In addition to that, I realized that I was afraid of committing. After a lot of searching, I realized that my efforts had been for everyone else but me; the Church, my wife, society.

True personal commitment would be for me, not for anyone else. I was afraid that this commitment would mean I would never receive the love of a man that I had wanted so desperately. Intellectually, I understood the fallacy of that thought, but emotionally it has taken me awhile, and perhaps a few painful mistakes, to understand.

Personal pain and true understanding of how some things really are has helped me make a personal commitment to recovery. this time it is a commitment to myself, for myself. A decision to go forward because I want to, because I want to face fears and always look for a way "out."

It is incredible how much power this decision has given me. Energy I used before, fluctuating back and forth, is now being used elsewhere, I feel so good when I wake up. I've always felt like I loved myself, but now I'm learning of a new love and caring for self that I hadn't know before.

I look at myself in the mirror and I feel good. I am not perfect and I still am tempted occasionally, but my commitment has built an escape alley. There is always an alternative for me, an alternative that I want.

For me the step of commitment has been one of the hardest to take, but at the same time, it has been the most rewarding.

(Originally published in Journey, Volume 1, Number 2, 1991, pgs 1-2.)

Return to the Deciding to Make Changes page.