Lloyd Newell opened up the fireside by telling us of his daughter who did
not need glasses, at least according to her. However she was squinting and
struggling to read, so they took her to the eye doctor, and sure enough she
had a severe case of astigmatism. When she finely got her glasses, as she
put them on and looked around it was as if she were seeing the world for the
first time. She had no idea how clear everything really was. She had seen it
from a foggy viewpoint, and that is all that she knew.
Doctor Newell then compared this awakening of vision to us. We cannot make
changes in our lives until we see things the way they really are. The only
way we can get to where we want to go is to know where we are right now.
Often we become blind to things that are right in front of our eyes. Brother
Newell shared a story of his family having a hole in their ceiling in the
bathroom. It was there for three to four years, and eventually they did not
even notice it, until a friend brought it to their attention. Sometimes we
need someone else to point out things that we need to work on. We are blind
to them. Sometimes we need someone to point us to a "direction map" and tell
us "you are here." It is only then that we can begin to change.
Self-change is personal, holy, sacred growth. It is only with the heart that
we see rightly. That which is essential is invisible to the eye. Real change
does not come through leaves and the branches, as helpful and useful as they
are, but real change occurs at the roots.
Brother Newell then went on to explain the difference between self-esteem
and self-worth. Our self-worth was determined long ago by our Lord and
Savior, and it is constant, it is an endowment, it is a gift. It never
changes because it is who we really are. "The worth of souls is great in the
sight of God" [D&C 18:10], because Christ died for you and for me. The
change that needs to occur, is for us to come to a conscious realization of
our true worth.
True change happens from the inside-out, and true peace and happiness comes
from inside-out congruence. Christ was perfect. What he said was perfectly
concentric with what he did. What we say and do in our life is a reflection
of what we believe, know and feel. Self-esteem is worldly. It is short lived
and in constant need of being fed. It is the outside working on us. God
works from the inside out, the world works from the outside in. Self-esteem
is not God's way - His is one of teaching us our self-worth.
He went on to acknowledge that some of us are barely hanging on like a rat
hanging onto a meat truck. And sooner or later reality takes us into surgery
for an "illusionoptomey". Let us be real and courageous with our eyeglasses
on. He quoted the hymn "Lead Kindly Light", "...one step enough for me," one
step at a time. He will, he can, help us all if we will just let Him.
The first thing that we need to know is that we are children of God and that
our worth is unchanging. Self-worth is understanding who we really are.
Divine discontent tells us that we can do it. It keeps us going, encouraging
and motivating us. The Devil's dissonance (the knife Satan hands us, that we
use to cut ourselves with) tells us that we cannot do it. He tells us we are
done, the script is written, the book is closed. The greatest lie of the
Adversary is that you have gone too far, have sinned too much.
The next thing to remember is that we can change and improve. Part of that
is allowing others to change. "I hope that I have faith in people, that they
can change, and that the Lord and others have faith in me that I can
change." "The gospel makes bad men good and good men better."
Everyone here is on a personal, private journey. Salvation is one on one,
between you and the Lord. We are all strugglers, and we are all brothers and
sisters.
Brother Newell then pointed out that we are all worthy of God's love, and
that trials make us more empathic. He pointed out that when one door closes,
another opens. When doors are slamming in our face, or slowly closing in
front of us, it is often a chance to learn patience until the next door does
open. And open it will!
He went on to tell the story of the boweavil. In one of our southern states
they have erected a statue of a boweavel. Why? The used to grow cotton
there, but it never thrived because of the bolweavil, so they changed crops
to peanuts, which thrived and as been a great blessing. So the monument to
the boweavel is in gratitude for the crisis which caused the change to
something much better, even though it was painful at first. From our limited
vision, we cannot see the whole picture.
Often we go to the dentist because we have a toothache, and he sees other
cavities that do not hurt yet, but need to be repaired. This is how our
Father in Heaven works with us. We go to him for help with one particular
thing we are hurting about, and he says, "I will help you, but I will also
help you with the entire treatment." We need to be willing to lay it ALL on
the table, for it is then that healing comes.
Doctor Newell closed by stating that as we daily, regularly, try and do the
good things that we have discussed, we WILL change. There is strength in
being associated with fellow strugglers along this thorny path.
Delores
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