Deciding to Make Changes

To be successful in diminishing erotic same-sex attractions and overcoming homosexual behavior, you must be willing to make a total commitment to the change process. When you do all that you can, and are willing to employ all the resources that are available to you, God's grace will make up the difference.

"For every problem that is to be solved there must first be a decision to solve it. We are free to choose not to make decisions but in doing so we choose to remain in our problems.... When we finally decide to commit ourselves to "change" we will see some of our problems begin to be solved. Many disciplines will need to be employed in the solution, but until a decision is made the problems remain."

"The choice to resolve the issues in our lives that caused the homosexual condition is a choice for growth and self expansion. Deciding to resolve homosexuality is a major life choice. Since homosexuality is the outward manifestation of unresolved issues that are central to your personality, deciding to work on these issues involves re-evaluating your core person and working to change it. Have you decided that you want to resolve homosexuality in your life? Do you understand what that struggle will mean? This section outlines some things to consider as you make these important life decisions."

"If you wish to take control of your life and make significant changes...you need to take personal responsibility for your actions and the direction of your life, be accountable to someone, and exercise the proper authority (1) by giving yourself permission to take action and (2) by giving permission to someone else to check up on you.....
The first step is to take full, personal responsibility for what you have been, what you are, and what you will become. Even though you didn't ask for homosexual desires, take responsibility for your life today.
Accountability helps us keep our integrity and it helps us grow."

Our lives are made up of a series of small choices. Seldom do we make a large, consequential decision. It's the little things we do that shape our character and make us who we are. Our character is the composite, the net result, of all those small choices....Agency, free agency, and moral agency all refer to our power to exercise our will and make choices. Freedom refers to the power and privilege to carry out those choices.

Letting go. "Recently, a clarity has emerged with my perception of general healing, and more specifically with same-sex attraction. The theme of current conversations within my head, as well as with friends, has been 'letting go' of the life, the feelings, the known reality that has encased and engrossed my life, of which I defined as (dare I say) the thing I loved. How can I give up something I love? It's all I know, right?"

This article addresses the following steps: determining readiness, making a self-inventory, then developing an action plan. It also discusses emotional and spiritual aspects, keeping a long-term perspective, addressing multiple factors, keeping balance, and setting boundaries, monitoring progress, being accountable, and journaling.

I am often asked if there are certain common traits demonstrated by individuals who most successfully deal with their homosexuality. Invariably, one of my most frequent replies is, "an attitude of fearlessness." ...Jeff Konrad suggests that in order to succeed, we need to run toward our fears.

Do you wonder if you’re ever going to make it? This article explores individual commitment to change and provides perspectives to help understand what it takes to succeed. It also provides a brief discussion of what it means to “change,” steps involved in making a decision to change, and why it’s important.
 

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