Resources for Family, Friends, and Church Leaders

Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you.

Isaiah 35:3-4

This section provides helps to family, friends, and Church leaders in dealing with issues of same-sex attraction.

The Savior's Power to Save

"To parents and families throughout the world, I testify that the Lord Jesus Christ is mighty to save. He is the Healer, the Redeemer, the rescuing Shepherd who will leave the ninety and nine to find the one. If we are seeking the salvation of special 'ones' in our own families, I bear testimony that they are within His reach. We assist Him in reaching them by faithfully living the gospel, being sealed in the temple, and living true to the covenants we make there."

—Robert D. Hales , "With All the Feelings of a Tender Parent: A Message of Hope to Families," Ensign, May 2004, 91)

Never Give Up

Many of you have heavy hearts because a son or daughter, husband or wife, has turned from righteousness to pursue evil. My message is for you. Your life is filled with anguish, pain, and, at times, despair. I will tell you how you can be comforted by the Lord. First, you must recognize two foundation principles:

1. While there are many things you can do to help a loved one in need, there are some things that must be done by the Lord.

2. Also, no enduring improvement can occur without righteous exercise of agency. Do not attempt to override agency. The Lord himself would not do that. Forced obedience yields no blessings (see D&C 58:26–33).

I will suggest seven ways you can help.

First, love without limitations. … Second, do not condone the transgressions, but extend every hope and support to the transgressor. … Third, teach truth. … Fourth, honestly forgive as often as is required. … Fifth, pray trustingly. ‘The … fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much’ (James 5:16). …

Sixth, keep perspective. … When the things you realistically can do to help are done, leave the matter in the hands of the Lord and worry no more. Do not feel guilty because you cannot do more. Do not waste your energy on useless worry. … In time, you will feel impressions and know how to give further help. You will find more peace and happiness, will not neglect others that need you, and will be able to give greater help because of that eternal perspective. …

One last suggestion—Never give up on a loved one, never!

—Richard G. Scott, Ensign, May 1988, 60–61

Words can have a power for good or evil

I just read about a 32-year-old guy who ended his life because of someone's careless remark. Words can have a power for either good....or evil.

I remember when I was quite young, my dad glancing out of the window of the car at some gay men walking on the road, and making the comment "if my kids ever turned out that way I would take a bat and bash them!" You can't imagine how many years that statement just ate away at my mind. It made me feel less than a person, not good enough, different, disgusting, and so much more, to the point of bringing me into deep bouts of depressions and causing me to think of suicide constantly.

Words have either an influence for good or for bad, even if the message in itself is intended for good. I believe that dad knew what the Bible says on the topic of homosexuality, but his method of reaching out to them definitely wasn't Christ's method. But let us not judge or act as these do, for we never know what works God will bring about in their hearts somewhere down the line, that will help them to finally see some light.

I recall the cold early September morning (1-2am) I was wandering the streets of Boston, half naked, with no shoes, no shirt, no socks, and no place to go. I had told Russell (the guy I was engaged to) that I no longer wanted to live the gay lifestyle, but wanted to serve God, which meant that we would have to break up our relationship. He took it well at first, but then got up out of bed in a frenzy that early morning and began to storm and wail around the apartment. I had a fear in me that told me to get out of bed, take the keys and leave for my life. So I did and headed toward the door, until he saw me and snatched the keys from my hand and told me to leave and that I had the devil. He slammed the door to our apartment, and there I was, on the other side, with nowhere to go. I walked the streets aimlessly for some time trying to sort my thoughts, but I just wanted to go somewhere. And then my dad popped into my head. Reluctantly, I found a pay phone and called collect, and with tears in my voice I said "Dad, I want to come home." Dad asked "Where are you, I'll be right there!" and drove the 42 miles to get me. As soon as he saw me he brought out his jacket, put it and his arms around me, embraced me, and and said "welcome home son".

Isn't God good! He can change lives! Just as much as we live with same-sex attraction, and don't expect it to just vanish over night, we can't expect others to who have to deal with prejudice to just vanish over night, or others who have lived a life speaking unkind things, for their mouths and hearts to clean up over night either. Let's continue to lift each other up in prayer, and ask the Lord to help us learn to overcome sin, and to love each other, just as Christ loves us, and to teach us to open our arms wide and to embrace, not the sin, but, the sinner.

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. John 1:12

—Daniel
 

FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) contains helpful, basic information.

Articles  A collection of articles and reading resources by Church leaders and others on issues of same-sex attraction.

Myths  Provides answers to common myths.

Reading List  Recommended reading, listening, and viewing materials.

Testimonies  Read the real-life stories and advice of individuals, spouses, parents, families, Church leaders, and therapists.

Homosexual problems stem from relationship deficits and one of the keys to resolving the problems is to repair existing relationships and build new, healthy ones. The later part of this section considers key relationships with a person's father and mother.

In addition to the personal battle raging within your friend, there are external challenges that may add to the difficulty of resolving his homosexual problems. This section explains that if a person has developed a gay identity and assimilated into a close-knit gay community, he may find it difficult to leave it behind. The section discusses the origins and objectives of the gay rights movement, including its efforts to normalize homosexuality and limit the options available to those who want to resolve their homosexual problems.

This article at christianwomentoday.com gives good advice. Note: By clicking this link, you will leave the Evergreen Web site. To return, click your browser's Back button.

"Satan, in his carefully devised plan to destroy the family, seeks to diminish the role of fathers. Increased youth violence, youth crime, greater poverty and economic insecurity, and the failure of increasing numbers of children in our schools offer clear evidence of lack of a positive influence of fathers in the homes. (See David Blankenhorn, Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem [1995], introduction, 25-48; David Popenoe, Life without Father [1996], 52-78.) A family needs a father to anchor it.

"Surely we have learned by now, from the experience over centuries, that the basic family provides the most stable and secure foundation for society and is fundamental to the preparation of young people for their future responsibilities. We should have learned by now that alternate styles of family formations have not worked and never will work."

L. Tom Perry, "Fatherhood, an Eternal Calling," Ensign, May 2004, p. 70.

Includes: (1) what Church leaders have said about suicide and our response to it, (2) suicide warning signs among youth, and (3) suicide, depression, and abandonment of the gospel can often be avoided if love and understanding are shown.

Newsletters  Copies of the Journey, Evergreen's newsletter.

Organizations  A list of organizations that can provide additional help.

Bookstore contains many useful materials.

How to get the message out