Sometimes happiness seems like a terribly elusive goal. We tend to forget
that it doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but
rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
Some steps on the pathway to happiness:
Don't dwell on past injustices. you'll be unpopular company. No one wants to
hear about how you got a raw deal from your parents or how your boss doesn't
appreciate you. When you think about time, keep to the present. Research
suggests that thinking too much about events far in the future or in the
distant past leads to unhappiness.
Check your goals. Many of us get so wrapped up in the means that we forget
about the ends. Ask yourself from time to time: "Why am I doing this? Am I
working hard because I love my work, or because I think money will buy
happiness? Maybe you'd really like peace of mind or recognition or job
satisfaction. These can be more immediate, attainable goals. If you're
working yourself to the bone because you think money will eventually buy
contentment, maybe you can discover that you don't really need a million
dollars. Take advantage of what you already have
Develop new interests. An active mind is never bored. Make a resolution to
notice new things each day--about nature, people, or anything else that
interests you. Ask question. Don't assume you know all the answers, or that
showing curiosity will be considered prying. Most people love to talk about
themselves or their interests.
Make some time for yourself. Take at least 20 minutes a day for quiet
reflection. Think while you are walking or running, and leave the radio
home. Let your thoughts drift to who you are, how you feel, what you're
doing, and how your life is going
Exercise. It's good for the mind. You don't need to jog 10 miles a day, but
a brisk walk ( maybe during your self-reflection time) will put you in a
better frame of mind. And, it's important to do it regularly, as part of
your daily routine .
Establish a regimen for yourself. this will give you a feeling of control.
If you can exercise, lose weight, stick to a schedule, etc., you'll gain a
sense of mastery. Anything that proves you can affect your own life will
give you a positive sense of self.
Learn to like yourself. The best way to think positively about yourself is
to think positively about others. They will then reflect back to you how
wonderful you are, which will make it a lot easier. Our sense of self is a
reflection of other people's response to us. Try to pay three sincere
complements a day to others. You'll soon see how much better this makes you
feel about yourself.
Don't wear too many hats. Focus on one thing at a time. Make decisions ahead
of time about what you will spend you time doing. Set time aside for your
family, yourself, your golf game, and for having fun. If you set your
priorities in advance, you avoid the anxiety of making moment-to-moment
decisions. These priorities don't have to be carved in stone, but they'll
help you cope.
Keep your sense of humor.
A good laugh goes a long way to making almost any
situation bearable. It also lightens the impact of life's inevitable
tragedies.
(Originally published in Journey, Volume 1, Number 4,
1991, pages 1-2.)
|
