Krista's Testimony

August 22, 1998

I was not always sure this would happen to me. I look at that man over there, that man I’m about to marry and I’m filled with amazement. I probably can’t expect too many people to understand why. Most would probably be puzzled by the depth of my love for him. A love that goes far beneath the external circumstances to discover the diamond in the rough.

Many want to know and will continue to wonder why I chose to involve myself with this man to the extent that I would give myself in marriage to him. I will tell you why, and then, perhaps, there will be a few less puzzled people.

From the very beginning I felt something about Jahn that connected with my soul. During this time, I may have appeared to others to be somewhat blinded by my feelings for him. This was not true. I simply saw him not as what he thought he was but as though he were what he wished to be, and as though the good in him was all of him. I did not place conditions on him. I loved him at every step and every phase, believing in his God given potential. I believed in the virtues I saw in him, for they far exceeded any unvirtues.

I found a strengthening in my own character at certain times when I was with him. Through loving him I learned to love all people in a new way. I was less judgmental of people and their circumstances. I grew in my compassion for my fellow strugglers, for everyone has a hidden sorrow that the eye cannot see.

I wanted to prove to Jahn that I would not give up on him no matter what. I told him on numerous occasions that I didn’t believe there was anything he could do that would cause me to stop loving him. His clothes would possibly have other repercussions, but my love for him was firm. I viewed the adversities that he was going through not as a punishment form God, but as Satan’s attempt to destroy one of God’s most valiant spirits.

I believed Jahn and I together would make an incredible team. Once he had overcome this struggle he would stand as a witness that it is possible to overcome one of the most difficult trials given to mortals. He would stand as a witness that Jesus Christ can heal anyone and anything. Mosiah 24:16: “And I will ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel then upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as a witness for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.” No wonder Satan has fought this so powerfully.

This has never been easy. But the weight of the challenge has strengthened our character and bonded us closer to each other and to God. I spent many nights, mornings, and afternoons weeping until I feared my heart would break. I told the Lord several times that I didn’t believe I could do this, but God saw something in me that I could not at the time.

I always left it up to his will. I remember often saying in my prayers at night, “I can’t do this Heavenly Father. It is hurting me so much. If it is still thy will, thou must carry me for awhile because I have no more strength or energy to invest.”

The burden would be lifted for a time until a greater challenge came along. By that time the Lord must have decided I was ready to stretch some more. Each step and each challenge was crucial for me to progress to the next challenge, which usually seemed more intense and draining than the last. I used to tremble at the thought that it could get any worse. The times that felt the most hopeless were the moments I feared Jahn was lost.

The Spirit would come and chasten me, “No Krista, you must never think that. Look at the miracles I have preformed. Look at the stars in the heavens, the millions of worlds under my hand. Do you still doubt that I can save him? You love him and you have suffered, but you do not comprehend the degree to which I love him and have suffered for him. Do not give up on him, because in giving up on him you give up on me.”

Therefore, I have seen my commitment in this relationship not only for Jahn, but for God. Through his Spirit I have felt on numerous occasions that Jahn is right for me. I couldn’t always see the path ahead of me, but I trusted that the Lord would keep his promise, as long as I sought to do his will. The Lord has not failed either of us. He has brought us together.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Psalms 30:5

“It is when the ice and snow are on them that we see the strength of the cypress and the Evergreen.”