Healing Our Wounded Souls

By Professor Robert J. Millet
Dean of Religious Education at BYU

Fireside address, 2000 Annual Evergreen conference

I am honored and sobered by the invitation to speak to you today. I have thought and prayed and wrestled for many weeks about my message and feel deeply inadequate to the task. But my trust is in the Almighty, and I know that he can do remarkable things with our paltry offerings if we will open the door and invite him into our lives. While I have some academic background in the behavioral sciences and some limited experience in counseling, I do not come to you today as a professional. Rather, I come as a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ, as one who has come to know some things about the Lord, from both sad and sweet experience. It is my hope that some of these matters will be relevant to the theme and overall purpose of this conference.

Christ is Sufficient

Let me begin by suggesting that on the whole the Christian world has not taken Christ seriously. Oh, we believe he was divine, that he taught as one having authority from God, that he worked miracles, that he healed the sick and even raised the dead, and that he died and rose again from the tomb. And most of us are thoroughly convinced that he suffered and bled on our behalf in Gethsemane and on Golgotha and thereby offered himself as a ransom for the sins of all humankind. To be sure, we believe all of that. I'm not sure, however, we have given the Master a real try when it comes to facing some of life's greatest challenges.

One of the tragic ironies of our day is that so many are dying of thirst while the cooling waters of life are within reach. Some are not aware that deliverance is available. Others, sad to say, are not even aware that they thirst. The Lord Jehovah, speaking anciently through Jeremiah, said: "My people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water" (Jeremiah 2:13). That is, most of earth's inhabitants have forsaken the Lord. All people thirst, even if they don't realize it. Most people pursue their quest for the living water inappropriately-they choose alternate paths, often irresponsible and usually unproductive and empty strategies. The world may have its agenda; the Savior usually has another approach entirely. There is safety and security only in discovering and implementing the Lord's way.

Isaiah aptly described us: "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way" (Isaiah 53:6). One of the evidences of the Fall is the manner in which natural men work intently against their own best interest. Being blind to spiritual realities - to things as they really are - men and women trust in their own strength and rely on their own unaided and unenlightened perspective. In speaking of people in Isaiah's day, the Lord said: "I have spread out my hands all the day unto a rebellious people, which walketh in a way that was not good, after their own thoughts" (Isaiah 65:2).

Of the world at the time of the Restoration - and surely in regard to people today and in the future - Christ declared: "They seek not the Lord to establish his righteousness, but every man walketh in his own way, and after the image of his own god, whose image is in the likeness of the world, and whose substance is that of an idol, which waxeth old and shall perish in Babylon, even Babylon the great, which shall fall." It was because of this - because the people on earth had been wandering in darkness as a result of trusting in the arm of flesh - that the heavens were rent in the spring of 1820. "Wherefore, I, the Lord, knowing the calamity which should come upon the inhabitants of the earth, called upon my servant Joseph Smith, Jun., and spake unto him from heaven, and gave him commandments." That is to say, because the world was turned inward; because men and women had placed their ultimate trust in men and women; because such actions and attitudes constitute idolatry and lead to spiritual impotence and apostasy from the truth - because of these dire conditions, God raised up Joseph Smith and reestablished the everlasting covenant on earth.

Thus what the worldly would call "the weak things of the world shall come forth and break down [what the spiritually nearsighted would call] the mighty and strong ones, that man should not counsel his fellow man, neither trust in the arm of flesh." (D&C 1:16-17, 19.) There is no sin in trusting man, so long as one's ultimate reliance is on the Lord. God is offended when we ignore or treat lightly inspired counsel in favor of social approval and acceptance, when we "trust in the arm of flesh (Jeremiah 17:5-8; 2 Nephi 4:34). Faithful members of the Church in many instances have been deceived, their faith weakened, and their discipleship diluted through the mingling of scripture with the philosophies of men. The marriage of Zion and Babylon is an unholy union; it is a vain attempt to harmonize and integrate disparate kingdoms. In the quest for peace between warring ideologies, gospel principles are compromised and costly concessions made.

Life is too short to spend our days laboring in secondary causes. Nothing could be more frustrating than to devote oneself to a cause that is found in time to be fruitless, to climb a ladder that one eventually discovers to be leaning against the wrong wall. Surely one indication of our spiritual maturity is the capacity to tell the difference, to tell the crucial from the convenient, the fundamental from the fleeting. Some things simply matter more than others. It is a serious matter, in the words of Jeremiah, to forsake the Lord Jehovah, to reject his counsel, to turn a deaf ear to divine direction.

The Lord is the Way, and those who refuse his message thereby enter the broad road that leads to destruction.

The Lord is the Truth, and those who spurn his teachings and authority wander in ignorance.

The Lord is the Life, and those who feel no need to align themselves with his will or his ways enter into league with him who seeks our spiritual death.

The Lord is the Light, and those who forsake him choose thereby to walk in darkness.

To turn away from the Fountain of Living Waters is to deny oneself access to that living liquid that is the only sure antidote to the world's desperate thirst. And, unfortunately, there is no relief to be found in digging our own cisterns, or even in adopting those of others, especially those cisterns that are at best deficient and at worse perverse, those that can hold no water, those that provide no deliverance from this world's woes.

We live in a day when the religious solutions to problems and questions, if they are given any credence at all, are among the least and last considered. C. S. Lewis, in his masterwork, "The Screwtape Letters", has one of the archdevils, Screwtape, giving instruction to his nephew, Wormwood, about how to deceive those who call themselves Christians: "The real trouble about the [mindset] your patient is living in is that it is merely Christian. They all have individual interests, of course, but the bond remains mere Christianity. What we want, if men become Christians at all, is to keep them in the state of mind I call 'Christianity AND...'. You know - Christianity AND the Crisis, Christianity AND the New Psychology, Christianity AND the New Order, Christianity AND Faith Healing, Christianity AND Psychical Research, Christianity AND Vegetarianism, Christianity AND Spelling Reform. If they must be Christians, let them at least be Christians with a difference. Substitute for the faith itself some Fashion with a 'Christian' colouring. Work on their horror of the Same Old Thing." (The Screwtape Letters, 1996, p. 91, emphasis in original.)

The devil doesn't need to get us to steal or lie or smoke or be immoral-he merely needs to suggest that we understate, undersell, and underestimate the powers, appropriateness, and relevance of the gospel of Jesus Christ. One challenge we face in a world that is exploding dramatically in regard to information, discovery, and technology is to hold fast to that which is fundamental, to rivet ourselves to the simple. In many cases new discoveries have and will yet pave the way to the amelioration of human suffering and the removal of so many of life's struggles. But there are some things that never change, some needs that every man and woman on planet earth shares with every other mortal, some problems whose resolution is brought to pass only through divine intervention. Paul taught us that in Christ "dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power." (Colossians 2:9-10, emphasis added.)

The Prince of Peace was sent to "bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound" (Isaiah 61:1). The Lord Jehovah, who is Jesus Christ, is the Great Physician, the One sent of the Father to heal our wounds, to dry our tears, to settle our souls. We live in a fallen world, a world of pain and trauma and tragedy, a world where bad things do indeed happen to good people. We live in a world where our good will is spurned, our noble desires are questioned, our benevolent deeds are rebutted. Life hurts. A lot. My heart goes out especially to those who know not the Lord, who are unaware of Christ's capacity to lift and lighten and liberate, who feel they must face life's challenges alone. I hurt for the hurting, particularly for those who try so hard to find fulfillment in this world's goods and services, for those who cannot hear or understand the Savior's instruction: "Wherefore, fear not even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full" (D&C 101:36).

The Infinite Reach of the Atonement

Sin on our part is only one way - albeit a major way - by which we are wounded in mortality. Very often others' sins against us result in pain and agony of soul. Abuse in its many ugly forms takes a terrible toll on human feelings of worth. Harshness, rudeness, callousness, and insensitivity-these are but a few ways by which Satan wins a battle through man's inhumanity to man. Thus each of us wrestles not only with sin and repentance, but also with feelings of inadequacy, feelings of loneliness, bitterness, jealousy, or betrayal.

Alma explained that the Redeemer would "go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." (Alma 7:11-12.) This scripture points us to the Messiah's power to lift us, lighten our burdens, and cradle us midst any care. It highlights the fact that Christ's empathy was made perfect through his participation in pain, our pain as well as his. Though Jehovah knew all things cognitively, there were some things he could only know experientially, some things he would be required to go through personally in order to be able to assist us, personally, in our passage through the second estate (Alma 7:13).

As Elder Bruce C. Hafen taught some years ago, the Atonement is not just for sinners. "Whatever may be the outer limits of the Atonement's reach, the essential point is that it reaches beyond conscious sin." Brother Hafen also observed: "The Savior's victory can compensate not only for our sins but also for our inadequacies; not only for our deliberate mistakes but also for our sins committed in ignorance, our errors of judgment, and our unavoidable imperfections. Our ultimate aspiration is more than being forgiven of sin - we seek to become holy, endowed affirmatively with Christlike attributes, at one with him, like him. Divine grace is the only source that can finally fulfill that aspiration, after all we can do." (The Broken Heart, pp. 13, 20.)

I have been inspired over the years in working with those saintly persons who are seeking to recover from abuse, desertion, or betrayal. I have had reaffirmed, from witnessing their vexations of the soul, the eternal verity that mortals can do only so much in their feeble efforts to right the wrongs of this life. I have been deeply touched as I have beheld a miracle in process - their growing capacity to forgive. In our first meeting, there might have been much of bitterness and even of hatred expressed. As time passes, however, and as the Spirit of the Lord begins to work its marvelous wonders in the human heart, I hear the offended one say things like: "Well, I don't hate him (or her) any more. I don't want to be his closest friend, but I don't hate him. I can't." Then later I hear the following: "I am still troubled by what happened, but I no longer have bitter feelings toward this person." And then I hear: "I hope things work out for him. I deeply hope he can get his act together and straighten out. I want him to be happy." What a stunning illustration of a rebirth of the soul. Darkness and despair are replaced by light and peace. Doubt is replaced by confidence. Rancor is replaced by tenderness and magnanimity. Such a power, the power to take away the pain, turn away the anger, and put away the past-such a power is not of this earth.

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated: "I would that the healing power of Christ might spread over the earth and be diffused through our society and into our homes, that it might cure men's hearts of the evil and adverse elements of greed and hate and conflict. I believe it could happen. I believe it must happen. If the lamb is to lie down with the lion, then peace must overcome conflict; healing must mend injury.
"Jesus of Nazareth healed the sick among whom he moved. His regenerating power is with us today to be invoked through his holy priesthood. His divine teachings, his incomparable example, his matchless life, his all-encompassing sacrifice will bring healing to broken hearts, reconciliation to those who argue and shout, even peace to warring nations if sought with humility and forgiveness and love.
"As members of the Church of Jesus Christ, ours is a ministry of healing, with a duty to bind the wounds and ease the pain of those who suffer. Upon a world afflicted with greed and contention, upon families distressed by argument and selfishness, I invoke the healing power of Christ, giving my witness of its efficacy and wonder. I testify of him who is the great source of healing." (Faith, The Essence of True Religion, p. 35.)

The Cosmic Christ who creates and redeems worlds without number is the same gentle and Good Shepherd who goes in search of one wandering sheep. He who holds all things in his power is the same who stills the storms of the human heart by a healing touch. Indeed, Elder Howard W. Hunter observed that "whatever Jesus lays his hands upon lives. If Jesus lays his hands upon a marriage, it lives. If he is allowed to lay his hands on the family, it lives." (Conference Report, October 1979, p. 93.) But we must be willing to open ourselves to his tender touch. "Jesus never met a disease he could not cure, a birth defect he could not reverse, a demon he could not exorcise. But he did meet skeptics he could not convince and sinners he could not convert. Forgiveness of sins requires an act of will on the receiver's part, and some who heard Jesus' strongest words about grace and forgiveness turned away unrepentant." (Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew, pp. 174-75.)

We have never been promised a life of ease or an existence free from strain and anxiety. We have not been promised that we would be spared the bitter potions in this life. We have been assured that we are not alone and that if we trust in and rely on His mighty arm, we will be empowered and comforted in our trials; we will eventually be delivered out of bondage. "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions" (Mosiah 24:14). Truly, "The Lord . . . gathereth together the outcasts of Israel. He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds" (Psalms 147:2-3).

Strength through Weakness

Though such matters as self reliance and self confidence may prove to be valuable in some of our dealings in this life, the reciprocal principles of submission, surrender, and having an eye single to the glory of God are essential if we are to acquire that enabling power described in scripture as the saving grace of Jesus Christ. It is as if the Lord inquires of us: "Do you want to be a possessor of all things such that all things are subject unto you?" We of course respond in the affirmative. He then says: "Good. Then submit to me. Yield your heart unto me." The Lord asks further: "Do you want to have victory over all things?" We nod. He follows up: "Then surrender to me. Unconditionally." Odd, isn't it? We incorporate the powers of divinity only through acknowledging our own inabilities, accepting our limitations, and realizing our weakness. We open ourselves to infinite strength only through accepting our finite condition. We in time gain control through being willing to relinquish control.

I am haunted by the words that Paul wrote in his second epistle to the Corinthians. As you know, Paul was, sadly, required to spend a significant amount of time defending his apostolic calling. Having been a zealous Pharisee and even a persecutor of the Christians before his conversion, and not having been one of the original witnesses of the resurrection of Christ, he felt the need to testify to his detractors that his call had indeed come from God. In doing so with the Corinthian Saints, he went on to describe some of the marvelous spiritual experiences the Lord had given to him. "And lest I should be exalted above measure," Paul hastened to add, "through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And [the Lord] said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Paul then remarks: "Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10, emphasis added.) No one really knows what his "thorn in the flesh" was. Was it a lingering illness, perhaps malaria, so common in Galatia? Was it a memory of his past, a hellish reminder of who he had been? Was it an evil spirit that dogged his steps and wearied him in his ministry? Perhaps one day we'll know. All we know for sure was that whatever it was, it kept Paul humble and forced him to his knees. His inabilities and his impotence in the face of this particular challenge were ever before him. I rather think that when Paul states that he "besought the Lord thrice" for the removal of the thorn that he is not describing merely three prayers but instead three seasons of prayer, extended periods of wrestling and laboring in the Spirit for a specific blessing that never came. Indeed, as he suggests, another kind of blessing came-a closeness, a sensitivity, an acquaintance with Deity, a sanctified strength that came through pain and suffering. It was up against the wall of faith, when shorn of self assurance and naked in his extremity and his frightening finitude, that a mere mortal received that enabling power we know as the grace of Christ. As the Savior explained to Moroni, when we acknowledge and confess our weakness-not just our specific weaknesses, our individual sins, but our weakness, our mortal limitation-and submit unto him, we transform weakness into strength (Ether 12:27).

As Jacob, son of Lehi, affirmed: "Wherefore, we search the prophets, and we have many revelations and the spirit of prophecy; and having all these witnesses we obtain a hope, and our faith becometh unshaken, insomuch that we truly can command in the name of Jesus and the very trees obey us, or the mountains, or the waves of the sea." Now note these words: "Nevertheless, the Lord God showeth us our weakness that we may know that it is by his grace, and his great condescensions unto the children of men, that we have power to do these things." (Jacob 4:4, 6-7, emphasis added.)

Too much of my own frustration over the years has come as a result of my refusal to let go and thus let God. Something - I suppose it is the natural man, the prideful self that automatically asserts its own agenda - drives me to want to do it myself. Oh, I believe in God, to be sure, that he loves me, that he sent his Son to earth to help me. All too often, however, my actions have betrayed my limited orientation, my vision of Christ as a type of spiritual advisor, a sort of celestial cheerleader who stands on the sidelines and whispers encouragement, but not the Lord God Omnipotent who came to earth to make men and women into new creatures through empowering them to do what they could never do for themselves.

There may be those listening today who have been subjected to much of pain and distress in their lives, to abuse, to neglect, to the agonies of wanting more than anything to live a normal life and to feel normal feelings, but who seem unable to do so. I would say, first of all, that each one of us, whoever we are, wrestles with something. Perhaps it's stuff that passes in time like a phase. Perhaps it's the torture of watching helplessly as loved ones choose unwisely and thereby close doors of opportunity for themselves and foreclose future privileges. And then there are the terrible traumas in our life, those occasions when someone we love does despite to our tender trust and deals a blow that strikes at the center of all we hold dear and all we value about ourselves.

I bear my witness of the fact that the day is coming when all the wrongs, the awful wrongs of this life, will be righted. I bear witness that the God of justice will attend to all evil. And I certify, for I know this to be true, that those things that are beyond our power to control, will be corrected, either here or hereafter. Many of us may come to enjoy the lifting, liberating powers of the Atonement in this life and all our losses will be made up before we pass from this sphere of existence. Perhaps some of us will wrestle all our days with our traumas and our trials, for He who orchestrates the events of our lives will surely fix the time of our release. I have a conviction that when a person passes through the veil of death, all those impediments and challenges and crosses that were beyond his or her power to control-abuse, neglect, immoral environment, weighty traditions, private temptations and inclinations, etc.-will be torn away like a film and perfect peace will prevail in our hearts. "Some frustrations," President Boyd K. Packer taught, "we must endure without really solving the problem. Some things that ought to be put in order are not put in order because we cannot control them. Things we cannot solve, we must survive." (Conference Report, October 1987, p. 20.)

Conclusion

Let me return to the thought with which we began by relating a story: "A pastor. . . was conducting a series of meetings in several churches in North and South Carolina. He was staying in the home of some close friends in Asheville and traveling each night to wherever he was speaking that evening.

"One night he was scheduled to speak at a church in Greenville, South Carolina, which is several hours from Asheville. Because he didn't have a car, some friends from Greenville offered to transport him to and from the meeting. When they arrived to pick him up, he bid farewell to his hosts and told them he hoped to be back by midnight or soon afterward.

"After ministering at the Greenville church, he stayed awhile to enjoy some fellowship and then rode back to Asheville. Approaching the house, he saw the porch light on and assumed his hosts would be prepared for his arrival because he had discussed the time of his return with them. As he got out of the car, he sent his driver on his way, saying, 'You must hurry. You have a long drive back. I'm sure they're prepared for me; I'll have no problem.

"He felt the bitter cold of the winter night as he walked the long distance to the house. By the time he reached the porch, his nose and ears were already numb. He tapped gently on the door but no one answered. He tapped a little harder, and then even harder-but still no reply. Finally, concerned about the intense cold, he beat on the kitchen door and on a side window. But there was still no response. "Frustrated and becoming colder by the moment, he decided to walk to a neighboring house so he could call and awaken his hosts. On the way he realized that knocking on someone's door after midnight wasn't a safe thing to do, so he decided to find a public telephone. It was as dark as it was cold, and the pastor wasn't familiar with the area. Consequently he walked for several miles. At one point he slipped in the wet grass growing beside the road and slid down a bank into two feet of water. Soaked and nearly frozen, he crawled back up to the road and walked farther until he finally saw a blinking motel light. He awakened the manager, who was gracious enough to let him use the telephone.

"The bedraggled pastor made the call and said to his sleepy host, 'I hate to disturb you, but I couldn't get anyone in the house to wake up. I'm several miles down the road at the motel. Could you come get me?' To which his host replied, 'My dear friend, you have a key in your overcoat pocket. Don't you remember? I gave it to you before you left.' The pastor reached into his pocket. Sure enough, there was the key."

The man who told the story then added this brief commentary: "That true story illustrates the predicament of Christians who try to gain access to God's blessings through human means, all the while possessing Christ, who is the key to every spiritual blessing. He alone fulfills the deepest longings of our hearts and supplies every spiritual resource we need." (John MacArthur, Our Sufficiency in Christ, pp. 25-27.)

I do not mean to be misunderstood in what I am saying today. I know, from personal experience, of the value of medical assistance and of the good that can take place through caring counselors who are people of integrity. But I also know that permanent and lasting change in our nature can come in only one way. I know of the power that is in Christ, power to right life's wrongs, to ease and eventually even remove the pain of scarred and beaten souls. There is no bitterness, no anger, no fear, no jealousy, no alienation, no feelings of inadequacy that cannot be healed by the Great Physician. He is the Balm of Gilead. True followers of Christ learn to trust in him more, in the arm of flesh less. They learn to rely on him more, on man-made solutions less. They learn to surrender their burdens to him more. They learn to work to their limits and then be willing to seek that divine enabling power that will make up the difference, that sacred power that makes all the difference!

As President Ezra Taft Benson taught, the Lord works from the inside out. "Christ changes men [and women], who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature." (Conference Report, October 1985, p. 5.) Through him we can either have all inappropriate inclinations or orientations transformed in this life, or we can be empowered and strengthened to do the right and resist the wrong. His is the power, and we must learn to lean upon it. While we must exert every ounce of strength within us to deny ourselves of all ungodliness, we must learn to join hands with God, for our happiness in this life and our ultimate salvation in the life to come are a team effort. Moroni instructed us on the last page of the Book of Mormon that when we come unto Christ and seek, all through our lives, to deny ourselves of ungodliness and give ourselves without let or hindrance to God, "then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ"-whole, complete, fully formed; "and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God" (Moroni 10:32). That is, those who completely surrender and submit to the Almighty cannot deny - block, stop, or prevent - the power of God from coming into their lives.

As both ancient and modern scripture affirm, our Master has indeed descended below all things (Ephesians 4:8-10; D&C 88:6). Inasmuch as he "was in all points tempted like as we are," he is "touched with the feeling of our infirmities," for he "knoweth the weakness of man and how to succor them who are tempted" (Hebrews 5:15; D&C 62:1). He can therefore do what no other mortal - not the greatest teacher or the most gifted counselor - can do. He can walk beside us as we pass through the fires of affliction and temptation, for he understands. Completely. He's been there.

Alma's words to his son Helaman represent sound and solid counsel to you and me: "Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to be meek and lowly in heart." Now note these timely and timeless words: "Teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ" (Alma 37:33). As we come unto Christ; as we do all we can to deny ourselves of ungodliness; as we turn to the Lord in our extremity and trust in his redeeming and enabling power, we are changed and renewed. "For whosoever is born of God," John wrote, "overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith" (1 John 5:4). Truly, those who come forth in the resurrection of the just, who qualify for the highest of eternal rewards, are they "who overcome by faith" (D&C 76:53).

To come unto the Savior is to come to life, to awaken to an entirely new realm of reality. Because of who Christ our Lord is and what he has done, there is no obstacle to peace and joy, here or hereafter, too great to face or overcome. Because of him, our minds can be at peace. Our souls may rest.