It is so hard when sincere prayer about something we desire very much is
not answered the way we want. It is especially difficult when the Lord
answers no to that which is worthy and would give us great joy and
happiness. Whether it be overcoming illness or loneliness, recovery of a
wayward child, coping with a handicap, or seeking continuing life for a dear
one who is slipping away, it seems so reasonable and so consistent with our
happiness to have a favorable answer. It is hard to understand why our
exercise of deep and sincere faith from an obedient life does not bring the
desired result.
No one wants adversity. Trials, disappointments, sadness, and heartache come
to us from two basically different sources. Those who transgress the laws of
God will always have those challenges. The other reason for adversity is to
accomplish the Lord’s own purposes in our life that we may receive the
refinement that comes from testing. It is vitally important for each of us
to identify from which of these two sources come our trials and challenges,
for the corrective action is very different.
If you are suffering the disheartening effects of transgression, please
recognize that the only path to permanent relief from sadness is sincere
repentance with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Realize your full
dependence upon the Lord and your need to align your life with His
teachings. There is really no other way to get lasting healing and peace.
Postponing humble repentance will delay or prevent your receiving relief.
Admit to yourself your mistakes and seek help now. Your bishop is a friend
with keys of authority to help you find peace of mind and contentment. The
way will be opened for you to have strength to repent and be forgiven.
Now may I share some suggestions with you who face the second source of
adversity, the testing that a wise Heavenly Father determines is needed even
when you are living a worthy, righteous life and are obedient to His
commandments.
Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple
doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your
disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow
more (see Prov. 3:11-12). He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate
growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting
benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires
a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.
When you face adversity, you can be led to ask many questions. Some serve a
useful purpose; others do not. To ask, Why does this have to happen to me?
Why do I have to suffer this, now? What have I done to cause this? will lead
you into blind alleys. It really does no good to ask questions that reflect
opposition to the will of God. Rather ask, What am I to do? What am I to
learn from this experience? What am I to change? Whom am I to help? How can
I remember my many blessings in times of trial? Willing sacrifice of deeply
held personal desires in favor of the will of God is very hard to do. Yet,
when you pray with real conviction, “Please let me know Thy will” and “May
Thy will be done,” you are in the strongest position to receive the maximum
help from your loving Father.
This life is an experience in profound trust—trust in Jesus Christ, trust in
His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those
teachings for happiness now and for a purposeful, supremely happy eternal
existence. To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the
beginning (see Prov. 3:5-7). To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must
be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal
feelings and experience.
To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you
and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though you cannot
understand how He can possibly do it. We are like infants in our
understanding of eternal matters and their impact on us here in mortality.
Yet at times we act as if we knew it all. When you pass through trials for
His purposes, as you trust Him, exercise faith in Him, He will help you.
That support will generally come step by step, a portion at a time. While
you are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that comes from
being enlarged will continue. If all matters were immediately resolved at
your first petition, you could not grow. Your Father in Heaven and His
Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a
moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal
benefit or for that of those you love.
As in all things, the Master is our perfect example. Who could have asked
with more perfect faith, greater obedience, or more complete understanding
than did He when He asked His Father in Gethsemane: “O my Father, if it be
possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou
wilt” (Matt. 26:39). Later He pled twice again: “O my Father, if this cup
may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done” (Matt.
26:42; see also Matt. 26:44).
How grateful I am personally that our Savior taught we should conclude our
most urgent, deeply felt prayers, when we ask for that which is of utmost
importance to us, with “Thy will be done” (Matt. 26:42). Your willingness to
accept the will of the Father will not change what in His wisdom He has
chosen to do. However, it will certainly change the effect of those
decisions on you personally. That evidence of the proper exercise of agency
allows His decisions to produce far greater blessings in your life. I have
found that because of our Father’s desire for us to grow, He may give us
gentle, almost imperceptible promptings that, if we are willing to accept
without complaint, He will enlarge to become a very clear indication of His
will. This enlightenment comes because of our faith and our willingness to
do what He asks even though we would desire something else.
Our Father in Heaven has invited you to express your needs, hopes, and
desires unto Him. That should not be done in a spirit of negotiation, but
rather as a willingness to obey His will no matter what direction that
takes. His invitation, “Ask, and ye shall receive” (3 Ne. 27:29) does not
assure that you will get what you want. It does guarantee that, if worthy,
you will get what you need, as judged by a Father that loves you perfectly,
who wants your eternal happiness even more than do you.
I testify that when the Lord closes one important door in your life, He
shows His continuing love and compassion by opening many other compensating
doors through your exercise of faith. He will place in your path packets of
spiritual sunlight to brighten your way. They often come after the trial has
been the greatest, as evidence of the compassion and love of an all-knowing
Father. They point the way to greater happiness, more understanding, and
strengthen your determination to accept and be obedient to His will.
It is a singularly marvelous blessing to have faith in the Savior and a
testimony of His teachings. So few in the world have that brilliant light to
guide them. The fulness of the restored gospel gives perspective, purpose,
and understanding. It allows us to face what otherwise appear to be unjust,
unfair, unreasonable challenges in life. Learn those helpful truths by
pondering the Book of Mormon and other scriptures. Try to understand those
teachings not only with your mind but also with your heart.
True enduring happiness with the accompanying strength, courage, and
capacity to overcome the most challenging difficulties comes from a life
centered in Jesus Christ. Obedience to His teachings provides a sure
foundation upon which to build. That takes effort. There is no guarantee of
overnight results, but there is absolute assurance that, in the Lord’s time,
solutions will come, peace will prevail, and emptiness will be filled.
Recently a great leader, suffering from physical handicaps that come with
advancing age, said, “I am glad I have what I have.” It is wisdom to open
the windows of happiness by recognizing your abundant blessings.
Don’t let the workings of adversity totally absorb your life. Try to
understand what you can. Act where you are able; then let the matter rest
with the Lord for a period while you give to others in worthy ways before
you take on appropriate concern again.
Please learn that as you wrestle with a challenge and feel sadness because
of it, you can simultaneously have peace and rejoicing. Yes, pain,
disappointment, frustration, and anguish can be temporary scenes played out
on the stage of life. Behind them there can be a background of peace and the
positive assurance that a loving Father will keep His promises. You can
qualify for those promises by a determination to accept His will, by
understanding the plan of happiness, by receiving all of the ordinances, and
by keeping the covenants made to assure their fulfillment.
The Lord’s plan is to exalt you to live with Him and be greatly blessed. The
rate at which you qualify is generally set by your capacity to mature, to
grow, to love, and to give of yourself. He is preparing you to be a god. You
cannot understand fully what that means, yet, He knows. As you trust Him,
seek and follow His will, you will receive blessings that your finite mind
cannot understand here on earth. Your Father in Heaven and His Holy Son know
better than you what brings happiness. They have given you the plan of
happiness. As you understand and follow it, happiness will be your blessing.
As you willingly obey, receive, and honor the ordinances and covenants of
that holy plan, you can have the greatest measure of satisfaction in this
life. Yes, even times of overpowering happiness. You will prepare yourself
for an eternity of glorious life with your loved ones who qualify for that
kingdom.
I know the principles that we have discussed are true. They have been tested
in the crucible of personal experience. To recognize the hand of the Lord in
your life and to accept His will without complaint is a beginning. That
decision does not immediately eliminate the struggles that will come for
your growth. But I witness that it is the best way there is for you to find
strength and understanding. It will free you from the dead ends of your own
reasoning. It will allow your life to become a productive, meaningful
experience, when otherwise you may not know how to go on (see D&C 24:8).
I testify that you have a Heavenly Father who loves you. I witness that the
Savior gave His life for your happiness. I know Him. He understands your
every need. I positively know that as you accept Their will without
complaint, They will bless and sustain you. In the name of Jesus Christ,
amen.
© 1995 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved.
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